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At about 10am this morning, I decided that if I didn’t do something quickly, the day would be in serious danger of stalling out before lunch. It was gray outside, my workload was looming and the inside of my head still felt like an enormous mucus balloon from the head cold I had suffered earlier in the week. Without wasting any time, I grabbed a shot of espresso, a screwdriver, a spray-bottle of Clorox and a pair rubber gloves and charged off to see how I could change the world for the better. (Sidenote: this combination will work miracles for any problem you might have. Be careful to always include all four items. Forgetting one can lead to disaster.)

It soon became apparent that what the world desperately needed was for someone to lead a thorough investigation as to what was clogging the bathroom sink. After some unlatching, some spraying, and several defensive squirts of the Clorox, I extracted the following specimen from our plumbing.

Don’t worry, this is only a picture. The real thing was so horrific that most of you would have passed out within seconds. I cannot begin to describe the smell.

Nothing starts off a productive day like a little dry heaving.